I have by this point realized my assumption when I heard that Martin Freeman is a Happy Meal toy was wrong. I was jumping the gun by about half a year. But I went to McDonalds today to find out if they had the toy. I asked them (because shockingly they didn’t have a toy display case, though to be fair this is on the edge of a college campus). What do I find?
Green Lantern and… Squinkies. The fuck is a goddamn Squinkie? They appear to be generic “cutesy” animals that wiggle back and forth on a little platform when you press down on them. Lame! But that’s not the worst part. Green Lantern? Green Lantern?? NOBODY LIKES THE GREEN LANTERN. And from what I hear the movie was absolutely dreadful. I mean, I guess he was okay in Justice League Unlimited, but even then he was pretty “meh.”
What about, oh I don’t know, THE AVENGERS? The movie that’s practically around the corner and which features much more interesting superheroes? Now admittedly I probably wouldn’t actually collect them, but this is a travesty for Happy Meal toys. Of course, when you grow up, you come to realize that it’s all cheap, useless crap (except the working Hello Kitty toaster, complete with bread slices, that shit was boss), but at least the toys had variety! As in, they didn’t all do the exact same thing, and it involved more than stupidly wiggling. Mcdonald’s, I am disappoint.